"No need to ask, he's a smooth operator, smooooooth operator..." Sade was the first to recognize the "playah" in song, back in the 80's, and notice, she wasn't put off by it, in fact, I believe her Nigerian born heart was actually set a flutter by his confident swagger. Fellas, in a chat based interactive setting like SecondLife, your words are your most important tools when it comes to wooing those virtual vixens. Sure, you could have the hottest, sexiest, studmuffin avatar in SL, (trust me, it does help). You can throw around the lindens, buying free drinks and diamond necklaces for every giggling bimbo in the club or offer them a ride in your expensive, but absolutely pointless, prim recreated Lamborghini Diablo. At the end of the day, the only way you're getting in that virtual g-string, is by charming her right out of them.
Developing your "rap" as the youngsters are calling it, (they still call it that, right?), is an acquired skill, by years of interacting with real humans. If you've never left your parents basement and prefer to deal with the outside world only through the glow of your monitor, I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict you may have a bit of a tough time conversing with anyone longer than the time it takes to ask "Do you have a Boba Fett in mint condition?" Let's address a few of the do NOTS. Pencils ready?
You see that smoking hot avy shaking her ass on the dance floor, you fight your way through the lag to get near her and after a quick camera swing to check for panties, you IM her and ask "Wanna fuck?". WRONG! Wrong, wrong, ignorant, and wrong. The first time I heard a girl tell me this had happened to her, I thought she had run into a real loser asshole. I soon found out, that loser asshole has hundreds if not thousands of loser asshole brethren running around out there with the same exact neanderthal approach to women. If you are in a free sex dungeon on Poke-A-Hole Island, that type of behavior is only borderline tolerable, but in any other public setting, keep that stupidity to yourself.
That leads me to my next example sure to be flagged for a personal foul: Illegal use of IM, intentional unwanted earbending and encroachment of personal space. The instant message feature is meant to be a private means of communication, used primarily for friends. It is always a good idea to actually speak to someone in open chat first, get their attention, strike up a conversation, compliment them on their nifty stiletto boots, whatever, before you switch to the private chat. Exceptions to this can be for a private question asking for help, informing someone they are "Ruthed", or sending requests to the DJ. Aside from that, try speaking in open chat first, it's the polite thing to do.
In open chat, please remember that everyone in range can read what you are trying to say, even if they are not currently typing anything. This means rude comments like "Nice tits" are not only likely to piss off the object of your affection, but ruin your chances with any other ladies within earshot. Being flirtatious, witty, and charming with one particular female has far reaching effects. Others may see you attempting to schmooze your way into a girl's heart and find you curiously attractive.... in a pathetic sort a way. But God love 'em, they just can't resist the "lost puppy" and may just end up taking you home after all.
Being flirtatious requires a certain amount of tact, flair, and most importantly, subtlety. The women of SL loooooove to be flirty. Love to let their hair down and act in a way they would never consider doing in the real world. This does not, in any way, mean they are a sure thing and destined to hit the cyber sack with you. Assuming otherwise is a colossal mistake and likely to leave you alone with your right hand girl Rosey. It's true that men can change anything a woman says into something sexual, that doesn't mean you should! Coming on strong with your overtly sexual comments gives women the wrong impression that all you want is "sex". She may be in the mood for some mental "stimulation" if ya know what ahm sayin.... but they always want more than just the local horndog.
Humor is your best weapon in the battle against the virtual chastity belt. Making a girl laugh is the quickest way to win her heart, but coming off funny in a chat driven environment is not always that easy. People can't "hear" sarcasm in your voice, they won't know you are doing a dead on impersonation of that hilarious celebrity voice, and inside jokes don't work well when you are the only one who knows them. Keep your replies simple, witty, and direct. You don't have to be "the life of the party" to keep everyone LOLing all night long. Don't be afraid to be stupid, be the butt of the joke, be vulnerable. Never take it personal if someone decides to take a shot at you, consider it a compliment. There are a lot of small minded people out in the world and if you are garnering the ladies attention, they'll try to chop you off at the knees. Feeding off their envy and shrugging it off makes you look all the more stronger.
What is the most important, most attractive feature a man can possess? Confidence. Being confident in yourself, in your ability to chat and carry on a conversation with anyone you might run into in SL, adds much weight to your overall charisma. Women want a man that knows what he wants and knows how to get it. Strength of personality, being able to 'port into any location and take over the room with just your presence makes the ladies perk up and take serious notice. There's nothing wrong with being arrogant, just don't cross that line in to conceited. Present yourself with a sense of excellence, don't try to convince everyone that you are better than them.
Most of all fellas, just remember to take it slow. There are 1.5 million users on SL, and there is someone out there for everyone. Desperation is a disease that no woman wants to catch. Take your time, make some friends and get to know people. The more the ladies see you around, the more they'll want to know about you, and the more they know about you, the more they'll want to snatch you up for themselves. Good luck and happy hunting.
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